The moment I stept off the plane I knew I was home in South Africa. Yes, the smells, people, activity and atmosphere was that of long ago memories that I had forgotten after all these years. It has been a number of years since I last visited my home country and realise how much I miss it. However...I do not feel that it is my home anymore.
Yesterday, we completed my mother's move out of my childhood home. Another family will now make it there own and start new memories.
My how it's changed here. In every respect right down to my sister, Karen.
Late last Friday she had suffered a ischemic stroke that has left her immobile with severe damage to the right side of her brain which has affected her memory, speech and mobility. She did not remember what happened, nor that she broke her leg and is confused as to who we are. This has devastated my mum, not to mention the rest of us especially her husband and kids.
She has been moved to a new hospital that specialises in this sort of rehabilitation and my mum's plans to move for retirement has now been altered for an undetermined time period.
There is little to say. What can you say? Mita said to me last night that in times like this we must be brave and hold as much hope as we can for Karen's speedy recovery, but honestly they are really hollow words for me. Again, what else can we do but hope. We say it all the time, but it doesn't help how I feel right now.
Being home is wonderful seeing people I haven't seen for years including Karen. She has greyed and is older looking than I remember. Even from the pictures I've seen. But she has always retained her youthful look in body, taking care of herself. Now what does she see? Or can she even see anything and know what it is? She is only three years older than me and already having to travel a road of long recovery that her doctors say it short of miraculous that she be the same before this stroke. I got the honest truth with no sugar coating poured over the diagnosis. Doctors are honest with one another and one of the draw backs of having a doctor for a relative. In my case a husband.
Andrew was right, there is nothing here anymore. I do want to be with my sister and we spoke about it for a while last night as I cried over the phone. But do not know what to do.
I miss them so much and want to come home.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
getting worse!
Sometimes life hands me so much shit I wonder if I can face another day! I am so tired at times that I can barely stand up let alone get out of bed. No depression in my family and Andrew thinks it's just too much thinking and worry about my sister. Yesterday she was admitted to hospital with pain in her chest and laboured breathing which turned out to to be an embolism caused by a clot formed from her break.
Andrew spoke with the er doctor at Pretoria's Little Company today and found out that Karen was very lucky to have arrived in hosp when she did and is on thinners to desolve the clots in her leg and lungs. Complications have risen and now so much worry about losing another sister. My mum is a WRECK and has demanded that I change my flight itinerary and come now. I have booked the flights and leave on sunday at 5:55pm and have 31 hours to fly arriving Tuesday morning. I hate Interlink and KLM, but could not get anything closer to today without paying like 11,000 dollars. This is already costing 3400. Mum said she will help, but that is not the factor. Just the situation I dread having to face seeing Karen in this state. I am trying to keep positive because i have to, but deep down I am afraid that the worse will happen. Being so far away makes things double worse sometimes. I do not want to go through it again, not being able to be with my family if Karen dies.
Andrew reassured me that she is in good hands but it is serious right now and my sister's husband and most of her kids are at the hospital with her.
I am flying alone and it will be a long journey having to worry and wonder about Karen's safety.
Mum said today that she and my niece, Evie have been packing like crazy and have opened a storage account. Evie is such a good kid! Her mum is in hospital and she insisted helping mum saying she needs to keep busy. Not a good thing for a fifteen year old to have to go through. But she is strong like many woman of our family. I suppose my father will be there as well and hope he puts his shit brained thinking away for awhile and helps my mother out.
We got a new puppy a few months ago and thought I'd post him. He's so cute.
Monday, November 16, 2009
good things
Wow, I had not realized it has been nearly three weeks since I've blogged. The kid, husband and work have been really keeping me busy these days and have been bogged down putting together a new teaching module and exercise manuals for a major cable company here that has recently decided to change their employee training platform.
The company has expressed interest in working with me exclusively on a perm contract which made me really happy because it will keep me working on regular term. With constant upgrades, changes in their electronics and the coming digital migration in august will keep those manuals and work shops alive for a while. They seem to really like my work, especially the speed I've been able to push them out for edit and in time for the classroom. Once you done a few of them, you've done most of them. They're all the same, just different information.
Yesterday, I received a really nice demo tv coming out next year in the post to tryout for a new manual, but really have to say that the more crap a tv does the more confused the people will get. I'm pretty good at figuring things out, but sometimes trying to explain it on paperis a little difficult especially when you get frustrated with the product yourself. I DO NOT like it and find its operation very time consuming and wish I can tell them how I feel about their product and what I think they can improve on it, but confidentiality contracts are stiff and opinions are not appreciated. I do not want my a** sued so cannot say much about the product only that it SUCKS and glad my name does not appear on the manual.
The last few weeks have been really good with my family here in Canada. My son and hubby are doing great as I am...however, things with mum are not going very well. She has sold her house and has asked if I could come to ZA to help her out with the closing sale, removal and storage of her things.
My sister unfortunately, is unable to help out now because she broke her leg on her front step last week. A simple trip of the foot has turned disastrous and woop she is now in a a johnson sling with a rod in her femur and she can barely more. I have no idea what the hell happened. Karen is a runner and like every morn took her jog and apparently tripped over the front stairs at her home and landed on her side. Her doctor has said he is concerned with the break and measured her bone density and thinks she may have osteoporosis because her bones are brittle resulting in an very unusual break which rises concerns for all of us. I already take a calcium supplement on the advice of my wonderful husband who reminds me everyday to take care of my body because I only have one.
Since Karen cannot help mum I'm flying next week home to help out. Yeah!
I am very happy. However, have decided to leave my son home at with Andrew who has managed to take the week off. I am only going to be gone for a week. I simply cannot stay away any longer than that and already miss my little boy so much it hurts. But on the up side I will get to see many of my old friends, especially Mita who has been my lifelong best friend in the entire world.
A friend who travels two continents to be with me at my worst time is truly a wondrous person and I thank the lord he has given me her friendship. Time has tested us both in our relationships and experiences and we've both manged to do okay. I had the pleasure of seeing her in Toronto two years ago when her husband had a conference there and we were invited as a guest at the dinner and got to spend two days seeing the city. But most of it was just spending time with Mita sitting in the hotels cafe' sipping tea and having a few drinks later in the evening was best, just talking and remembering our times growing up, our futures and thoughts.
I've yet to call Mita and tell her my surprise. I would love it to just suddenly ring her bell and say HELLO when she opens the door and see the look on her face. HELLO! But really, I think it would be just too disruptive to just walk up her drive and say, "surprise!" It would be nice, and a hell of one, but I am a planner and like things smooth. Spontaneity is nice, but not for this situation. But still......Mita should be an actress! I can just see her flopping to the ground screaming out a laugh.
I am SO looking forward to going home for a while. It's been a while since I've stepped foot on ZA soil.
The company has expressed interest in working with me exclusively on a perm contract which made me really happy because it will keep me working on regular term. With constant upgrades, changes in their electronics and the coming digital migration in august will keep those manuals and work shops alive for a while. They seem to really like my work, especially the speed I've been able to push them out for edit and in time for the classroom. Once you done a few of them, you've done most of them. They're all the same, just different information.
Yesterday, I received a really nice demo tv coming out next year in the post to tryout for a new manual, but really have to say that the more crap a tv does the more confused the people will get. I'm pretty good at figuring things out, but sometimes trying to explain it on paperis a little difficult especially when you get frustrated with the product yourself. I DO NOT like it and find its operation very time consuming and wish I can tell them how I feel about their product and what I think they can improve on it, but confidentiality contracts are stiff and opinions are not appreciated. I do not want my a** sued so cannot say much about the product only that it SUCKS and glad my name does not appear on the manual.
The last few weeks have been really good with my family here in Canada. My son and hubby are doing great as I am...however, things with mum are not going very well. She has sold her house and has asked if I could come to ZA to help her out with the closing sale, removal and storage of her things.
My sister unfortunately, is unable to help out now because she broke her leg on her front step last week. A simple trip of the foot has turned disastrous and woop she is now in a a johnson sling with a rod in her femur and she can barely more. I have no idea what the hell happened. Karen is a runner and like every morn took her jog and apparently tripped over the front stairs at her home and landed on her side. Her doctor has said he is concerned with the break and measured her bone density and thinks she may have osteoporosis because her bones are brittle resulting in an very unusual break which rises concerns for all of us. I already take a calcium supplement on the advice of my wonderful husband who reminds me everyday to take care of my body because I only have one.
Since Karen cannot help mum I'm flying next week home to help out. Yeah!
I am very happy. However, have decided to leave my son home at with Andrew who has managed to take the week off. I am only going to be gone for a week. I simply cannot stay away any longer than that and already miss my little boy so much it hurts. But on the up side I will get to see many of my old friends, especially Mita who has been my lifelong best friend in the entire world.
A friend who travels two continents to be with me at my worst time is truly a wondrous person and I thank the lord he has given me her friendship. Time has tested us both in our relationships and experiences and we've both manged to do okay. I had the pleasure of seeing her in Toronto two years ago when her husband had a conference there and we were invited as a guest at the dinner and got to spend two days seeing the city. But most of it was just spending time with Mita sitting in the hotels cafe' sipping tea and having a few drinks later in the evening was best, just talking and remembering our times growing up, our futures and thoughts.
I've yet to call Mita and tell her my surprise. I would love it to just suddenly ring her bell and say HELLO when she opens the door and see the look on her face. HELLO! But really, I think it would be just too disruptive to just walk up her drive and say, "surprise!" It would be nice, and a hell of one, but I am a planner and like things smooth. Spontaneity is nice, but not for this situation. But still......Mita should be an actress! I can just see her flopping to the ground screaming out a laugh.
I am SO looking forward to going home for a while. It's been a while since I've stepped foot on ZA soil.
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